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A Beautiful Advice Concerning Marrying and Divorcing Easily

  Shaykh Muqbil ibn Hādi al-Wādiʿī

[Q]: There is an evil habit that has spread amongst the practicing brothers (Salafīyyīn); it is that one of them will marry a woman and after a few short days a quarrel will take place between the spouses and the news will spread (to the community). Then, there are some brothers who encourage him to divorce her, until the point that there is a sister who has been divorced fourteen times, and this is widespread and apparent, and there is no one there (America) from the people of knowledge for them to return to, so what do you advise us with?

A Guide to Marriage

  Shaykh Muḥammad al-ʿAnjarī

Our noble Shaykh delivers a highly benefiial lecture concerning the institution of marriage in Islām.  A must-hear lecture for all Muslims, men and women alike, who are looking to fulfill this half of their Religion.

Advice for Educating the Muslim Children

  Abū ʿAbdullāh Ḥasan al-Ṣumālī

The first advice from the book entitled ‘Naṣīḥatī li-Nisā’ (My Advice to the Women), authored by Umm ʿAbdillāh al-Wādiʿīyyah, the daughter of the late Imām of Yemen, Al-ʿAllāmah Muqbil bin Hādi al-Wādiʿī -raḥimahullāh - An introduction to some of the primary responsibilities of the husband and the wife in an Islamic marriage, followed by twenty-one points with proofs and evidence from the Qurʾān and authentic sunnah on the topic of raising children.

Benefit: A Husband Assisting His Wife with Household Chores Doesn’t Diminish or Negate His Masculinity

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

Shaykh Muḥammad ibn ʿUmar Bāzmūl (حفظه الله) stated:

A man assisting his wife in the house doesn’t diminish or negate his masculinity, nor does it hinder his protection and maintenance of her.

Imām al-Bukhārī reported that al-Aswad said: "I asked ʿĀishah (رضي الله عنها): 'What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do inside his house?’ She answered: 'He use to keep himself busy serving the members of his family, and when it was time for the prayer, he would leave."

'Serving the members of his family’ meaning, assisting them in the different tasks that were binding upon them.


Translator's note:

There has come in some narrations a description of some of the things that he (ﷺ) would do in the house. ʿUrwah said: "I said to ʿĀishah (رضي الله عنها): 'O Mother of the Believers! What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do when he was with you?' She said: 'He would do what any of you would do when serving the members of your family. He would mend his sandals, sew his thowb, and patch his bucket."[Reported by Ibn Ḥibbān, and authenticated by Shaykh al-Albānī.]

Source: https://www.facebook.com/mohammadbazmool/posts/1121311527987332

Translated by: Musa Shaleem Mohammed

Benefit: Deal with Your Wives as You Wish for Your Daughters to be Dealt With

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

Know that you must honour your wife in your dealings with her as (you would expect from) the man married to your daughter. How would he deal with her? Would you be pleased that he deals with her in a harsh and cruel manner? The answer is No!

So do not feel content in dealing with the daughters of others in a manner that you would not be pleased for your daughter to be dealt with. Everyone should know this principle.


Shaykh Muḥammad ibn Ṣāliḥ al-ʿUthaymīn 

Source: Sharḥ al-Mumtiʿ 12/381 

Translated by: Munīb al-Ṣumālī

Benefit: Legislated Ranks of Wilāyah in Marriages

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy
From the benefits of this short article1 is an important review of the rankings of walīs for marriage, as quoted below (read the article at the URL above for more benefit):

Legislated Ranks of Wilāyah in Marriages

Let us take a moment to be clear on the legislated ranks of wilāyah in a marriage contract. The following are the order of ranks, each of them being sound-minded adult men of the same religion:

  1. Father
  2. Grandfather (from the father’s side)
  3. Great Grandfather (from the father’s side)
  4. Son
  5. Grandson
  6. Great Grandson
  7. Oldest Full Brother
  8. Next Oldest Full Brother (and so on…)
  9. Oldest Half-Brother (from the Father’s side)
  10. Next Oldest Half-Brother (from the Father’s side, and so on…) [1]
  11. Oldest son of a Full Brother (Nephew)
  12. Next Oldest Son of Full Brother (Nephew)
  13. Oldest Son of a Half-Brother from the Father’s side (Nephew)
  14. Next Oldest Son of a Half Brother from the Father’s side (Nephew)
  15. Grandson of Full Brother (oldest first)
  16. Grandson of Half-Brother from the Father’s side (oldest first)
  17. Oldest Paternal Uncle
  18. Next Oldest Paternal Uncle (and so on…)
  19. Oldest Son of Paternal Uncle (Cousin) [2]
  20. Next Oldest Son of Paternal Uncle (Cousin, and so on…)
  21. Oldest Great (Paternal) Uncle
  22. Next Oldest Great (Paternal) Uncle (and so on…) [3]

Important: Each of the above mentioned walīs has the right to appoint someone on his behalf to act on his behalf.  So in this case, if the father appoints the brother to act as the walī, then he is the official and accepted walī, even in the presence of the grandfather, since the brother is the father’s chosen trustee and takes his place.

After these relatives have been exhausted, then a woman may seek to appoint a walī from outside her family through the Muslim authorities.

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1 Originally posted to bakkah.net
Compiled by Mūsá Richardson

Benefit: Live Well with Your Wives

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

Shaykh Muḥammad Amān ibn ʿAlī al-Jāmī (رحمه الله) stated: “It is not from living well with women that a wife is constantly threatened with divorce.”

Source: Qurrah ‘Ayūn al-Muwaḥḥdīn, pg 39.
Translated by: Musa Shaleem Mohammed

Benefit: Marriage Condition: Don't Marry a Second Wife?

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

It is known that in Islām the male may marry up to four women, if he has the ability, can be just between them etc.  Although the common question that arises is what if there is a condition stipulated upon the male, stating that he may not marry a second woman, is such a condition valid? Or is it bāṭil, because Allāh has made it ḥʿalál for him to marry the second? Our brother Mūsá Richardson discusses this issue.


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Benefit: She Contemplates Avoiding Marriage Fearing Disobedience!

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

In response to a two-sided question posed regarding sisters who avoid marriage out of the fear that they would disobey their husbands and go to hell, and why women make up the majority of inhabitants in the Hellfire. Our beloved brother, Abū Khadījah, offers some advice based on the authentic Sunnah.


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Benefit: Supplicate for Newlyweds

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

  On the authority of Abū Hurayrah (may Allāh be pleased with him), the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhī wa-sallam) used to congratulate newlyweds, saying:

(( بَارَكَ اللهُ لَكَ، وَبَارَكَ عَلَيْكَ،
وَجَمَعَ بَيْنَكُمَا فِي الْخَيْرِ. ))

"May Allāh bless you,
send down His Blessings upon you,
and unite you both upon goodness."

It was collected by Abū Dāwūd (2130), at-Tirmidhī (1091), and Ibn Mājah (1905).  This is at-Tirmithī's wording, who called it ḥasan-ṣaḥīḥ.  Al-Albānī graded it ṣaḥīḥ.

Benefit: The Wisdom of Marriage - The Fallacy of Dating

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

The  scholar and dāʿī, Dr. Muḥammad Taqi al-Din Al-Hilāli[1] said, "....And in the Sunan of Ibn Majah the prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhī wa-sallam) stated, "From the things that makes a man happy is a righteous wife whom whenever he looks at her she pleases him, whenever he commands her she obeys him, and whenever he is absent she is faithful with herself and his wealth" Ḥadīth ḥasan (ḥadīth no. 1857).

So look - may Allāh have mercy on you - at this ḥadīth which illustrates therein a very high wisdom from the lips of the one who has been given concise, eloquent speech that contains much profound meaning. For indeed herein he summed up the conditions for a happy martial life: 

1. The first one is that the woman is attractive in the eyes of the husband
2. She willingly fulfills his requests and does what he wants; and this is the sign of true love 
3. He trusts her and she trusts him. Hence if he is absent for a long or short period, he will be rest assured that she will safeguard her honor and integrity, and ensure that his wealth is not wasted

Without these conditions neither of the spouses can ever be happy. And the Europeans have claimed to have attained the pinnacle of marital bliss because they allow the fiancé to interact with his fiancée before the marriage in a manner that is very disturbing. It is quite possible for this relationship to continue like this for years whereby they are 'still getting to know each other,' to get to learn the other person's behavioral traits and personality so that they can be more compatible with each other in order to make the relationship more lasting. They know however that this is a big farce because neither of the spouses trust the other - as far as being faithful to each other - or being honest with their money. The husband cannot tell his wife to do anything because obedience is not an obligation for them. Hence, they are like two business or trade partners. And this illustrates the fallacy of the stipulation they must 'be in love' first.  

As for the argument that supports unrestricted interaction before the marriage contract, (this is also a fallacy) because they do not really get to know the true character of the other companion because each of them 'puts on an act' for the other, and feign signs of adulation for fear that the engagement will be called off. And almost none of them reveals his/her true character until they get married. And there are many incidents like this that prove this to be true. For indeed, this happened in Germany in the city of Bonn wherein a man was engaged to his fiancée for 20 years, and they lived together as a man would live with his wife. However, when they married, the marriage did not last but one year; all of it being disagreements, bickering, and argumentation, eventually ending in divorce."  

Taken from his book 'The rulings of al-Khula' in Islām' pg. 36-38.

________________________________________

[1] He is a descendant of the Prophet's grandson Husayn (raḍī Allāhu ʿanhu). He was born in Morocco in 1311 (1893) and he died 1408 (1997). He is well known for his translation of  the meanings of the interpretation of the Noble Qurʾān and Sahih Al-Bukhari.   

Shaykh Hammād al-Anṣārī said about him, "In reality, I have not met anyone who has more knowledge in so many various subjects other than Dr. al-Hilāli. Forty-five years have passed and I have never seen anyone like him. He was fluent in languages such as Hebrew, German, English, Spanish, in addition to being a scholar in Arabic. He is my shaykh for I benefit from him greatly. He was Salafi in his ʿaqīdah, and if you read his book about al-Tawḥīd you would know that no one knows al-Tawḥīd in the Qurʾān like him."

Benefit: Treat Your Wife How You Want Your Daughter to Be Treated

In the Name of Allāh, the Ever Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy

  Shaykh Ibn ʿUthaymīn (may Allāh have mercy upon him) said:


"...Know that when you deal and interact with your wife then it is mandatory that you think of a [scenario] where a man is the husband of your daughter. How does he treat her? Would you be pleased for him to treat her with harshness and sternness? The answer is no. Therefore, do not be content with treating the daughter of another person in a fashion that you would not be pleased for your daughter to be treated. This principle should be known by all people."

Ash-Sharḥ al-Mumti' (vol. 12, p. 381)
Translated by Ḥasan al-Ṣūmali

Choosing a Husband

   

What every Muslimah should look for in a prospective husband.

Choosing the Desired Wife

   

Find out what one should look for in a prospective wife.