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The Rights of the Husband

  Rashīd Barbee

A discussion on nine rights of a husband over his wife. From the seminar, The Rights of the Spouses (September 2013), Toronto, Canada.


Listen/Download | 49 mins.

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Nine Rights of a Husband upon His Wife:

1. She obeys him in everything that is good but not that which is forbidden

Ibn ʿUmar (May Allāh be pleased with them) reported:
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects."
Bukharī and Muslim

Āʿishah reported that a woman from the Ansār married her daughter who had lost her hair because of illness. She came to Allāh's Apostle (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) and said:

Her husband wants that false hair should be added to her head. Thereupon Allāh's Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said: The woman who adds false hair has been cursed. This Ḥadīth has been narrated on the authority of Nafi' with the same chain of transmitters but with a slight variation of wording.
Muslim

Abū Hurayrah (raḍī Allāhu ʿʿʿanhu) reported that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would have commanded woman to prostrate to her husband.
Tirmidhī, Ḥasan Ṣaḥīḥ

Amr ibn Al-Harith Al-Mustaliq said:
"It used to be said that the people with the worst punishment [on the Day of Judgment] are two: A woman who disobeyed her husband, and a people's Imam whom they dislike."
Tirmidhī. Ṣaḥīḥ

2. She is thankful to him

Ibn ʿUmar (May Allāh be pleased with them) said:

The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "O women folk! You should give charity and be diligent in seeking Allāh's forgiveness because I have seen (i.e., on the Night of the Ascension to the highest heavens) that dwellers of the Hell are women." A woman amongst them said: "Why is it that the majority of the dwellers of Hell are women?" The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. In spite of your lacking in wisdom and failing in religion, you are depriving the wisest of men of their intelligence." Upon this the woman asked: "What is the deficiency in our wisdom and in our religion?" He (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) replied, "Your lack of wisdom can be well judged from the fact that the evidence of two women is equal to that one man. You do not offer Salat (prayer) for some days and you do not fast (the whole of) Ramaḍān sometimes, it is a deficiency in religion."
[Muslim].

3. That she does not anger him nor become angry with him

Narrated Abū Hurayrah:

The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband).
Bukhārī

Abū Hurayrah (May Allāh be pleased with him) reported:

Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning".
Bukhārī and Muslim

In another narration: The Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "When a woman spends the night away from the bed of her husband, the angels curse her until morning".
Bukhārī and Muslim

In another narration: Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "By Him in Whose Hand is my life, when a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond, the One Who is above the heaven becomes displeased with her until he (her husband) becomes pleased with her".
Bukhārī and Muslim

Abū Umāmah narrated that:

Allāh's Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said: "There are three whose Salat would not rise up beyond their ears: The runaway slave until he returns, a woman who spends a night while her husband is angry with her, and a people's Imam whom they dislike."
Tirmidhī, Ḥasan

4. She is loving and merciful with him

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.
[al-Rūm, 30:21]

Umm Kulthum ibnt ʿUqbah (May Allāh be pleased with her) reported:

Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, 'The person who (lies) in order to conciliate between people is not a liar, when he conveys good or says (something) good".The narration in Muslim added: She said, "I never heard him (she meant the Prophet ()) giving permission of lying in anything except in three (things): war, conciliating between people and the conversation of man with his wife and the conversation of a woman with her husband".
Bukhārī and Muslim

Mu'adh ibn Jabal (raḍī Allāhu ʿʿʿanhu) reported that the Prophet said, "When a wife hurts her husband in this world, his wife in Paradise, from among the hural-ayn says "Do not hurt him. May Allāh destroy you! He is only an alien with you and will soon separate from you to come to us".
Tirmidhī, Ibn Majah, Aḥmad, Ṣaḥīḥ

Narrated Abū Hurayrah:

It was narrated that Abū Hurayrah said: "It was said to the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam): 'Which woman is best?' He said: 'The one who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself nor her wealth.'"
An-Nasaa'ee, Ḥasan

5. She preserves his honour and herself

Fadala ibn ʿʿUbayd reported that the Prophet, may Allāh bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not ask about three: a man who parts company with the community, rebels the ruler and dies while he is a still a rebel. Do not ask about him. Or a slave or slavegirl who runs away from his master. Or a woman whose husband is absent and who has sufficient provision and then displays her adornments to strangers and mixes freely. Do not ask about three: a man who contends with Allāh regarding His cloak. His cloak is pride and His wrapper is His might. Also, a man who doubts the command of Allāh and someone who despairs of Allāh's mercy." Al-Adabul-Mufrad, Ṣaḥīḥ

Abū Malih Huzali reported that some women of Hims or of Syria visited Āʿishah (raḍīyallahu ʿʿʿanhu). She said, "You are the women who go to the public baths. I have heard Allāh's Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) say that there is no woman who removes her garments in a house other than her husband's but she tears the curtain between her and her Lord." Tirmidhī, Abū Dāwūd, Aḥmad, Ṣaḥīḥ

6. Keeps his secrets

7. Preserve the home of her husband 

Hammam ibn Munabbih said:

These are some of the a ḥadīth of Muḥammad. the Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam), transmitted to us on the authority of Abū Hurayrah. So he narrated one Ḥadīth out of them (as this): The Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said: No woman should observe fast when her spouse is present (in the house) but with his permission. And she should not admit any (maḥram) in his house, while he (her husband) is present, but with his permission. And whatever she spends from his earnings without his sanction, for him is half the reward. Muslim

Abū Hurayrah (May Allāh be pleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "It is not lawful for a woman to observe an optional Saum (fast) without the permission of her husband when he is at home. Nor should she allow anyone to enter his house without his permission." Bukhārī and Muslim

8. Spend anything from his wealth except with his permission

Abū Umāmah Bahiliy said that he heard Allāh's Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) say during a sermon in the year of the farewell Pilgrimage. "A woman must not spend anything from her husband's home without his permission". He was asked, "O Messenger of Allāh! And not even food?" He said, "that is the best of our properties'. Tirmidhī,Abū Dāwūd, Ibn Mājah, Ḥasan

Narrated Aa;ishah (raḍī Allāhu ʿanhā):

Allāh's Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "When a woman gives in charity from her husband's meals without wasting the property of her husband, she will get a reward for it, and her husband too will get a reward for what he earned and the storekeeper will have the reward likewise."
Bukhārī

Narrated ʿAbdullāh ibn Amr ibn al-'As:
The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said: It is not permissible for a woman to present a gift (from her husband's property) except with the permission of her husband.
Abū Dāwūd, Ḥasan Ṣaḥiḥ

9. Doesn't fast except with his permission

Narrated Abū Hurayrah:

The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "A woman should not fast (optional fasts) except with her husband's permission if he is at home (staying with her).
Bukhārī

10. Does not leave her husband's house to live elsewhere, including her own parents' house. Evidence:

Report narrated in al-Ṣahīhayn about the story of the slander (al-Ifk), in which ʿĀʾishah (may Allāh be pleased with her) said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him): Will you give me permission to go to my parents?

Al-Bukhārī (4141) and Muslim (2770).

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